My good friend Ted Malanda, a senior bachelor like myself, recently gave a word of advice to men on social media who have the tendency of meeting at a common girlfriend’s house.
This is what Ted said: “Your girlfriend is not your wife. Her house is not your house. Piga simu or you will cry in the toilet. Our forefathers used to go home singing drunkenly, they were not fools”.
I couldn’t agree more. Of late I have come across crazy stories touching on this one issue. Sit down so I can educate you today.
Rent: If you are not the one paying rent please never sleep in a woman’s place - its very risky especially with the explosion of sponsors. But if you do pay rent, then don’t operate on a predictable routine, say visiting three days a week. If you are married, trust this chick knows that you will spend more time with your wife and family and less with her. This is good fodder for her.
A friend of mine, a licensed gun holder, met the shock of his life after walking into girlfriend house uninvited. As he settled down, he heard a police car pull over, flanked by other escorts - muscled bodyguards. The senior officer knocked on this very door, forcing my good friend to disappear under the bed. He witnessed the police officer unpack his two guns, undress and get down to business. That was a good lesson.
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Have an investigative mind: Purpose to be alert, never be comfortable. Always ask the questions “Why and How”, especially when the math is not adding up. Let the watchman be your best friend, always tip him and believe me the guy will be loyal to you and give you every small details you want to know. Of course she would want to throw you off psychologically by talking about trust. Remember even God did not trust Lucifer who was an angel, who are you to trust or be trusted?
Pie chart theory: If you are a married man, and have never had the madness of introducing your girlfriend to your wife, then this lass knows all too well that she is a side chick - she knows the clock is ticking, and she needs to settle.
Naturally, she will have a number two and three, all on the waiting list.
See, this is why you must never concentrate all your energy on your secret girlfriend - it’s like feeding a cow only for it to be milked by another person who has no idea how to feed an insect.
This is why it’s stupid when a man buy cars for their girlfriends yet the wife whom they have biggest share uses a matatu. If you buy a small Toyota for your clandestine, then make sure your wife drives some serious machine.
If you are a man, and you are below forties, then you must know that we are less in number than the ladies, that’s according to the a most recent census. So, don’t reduce the numbers by killing one another. If you want a second wife, then introduce the other woman to your family so they are aware - the laws of the land allows you to have a second wife. But even as we talk about this, remember that the mere fact that you spend time with your girlfriend does not make her yours, its just your turn. With this you will live longer.
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